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How Playing Pokemon Firered helped me through my worst depression

October 2018

I was in my Junior year of high school. I had found minor success in making school friends and even began doing better in my academics (all A’s) when my life was shook in a way it had never been before. One day I woke up with a delusion. What made it a delusion was the fact I could not be persuaded that my delusion hadn’t happened. I then proceeded to become more and more delusional as the days went by, until I was unable to think about anything other than my delusions. I was told by the doctor that I was having a psychosis, which I had to come to terms with then move past. After a 2 week hospitalization I found myself sleeping 17 hours a day due to the terrible depression I found myself in. What worsened the depression even further was the side effects from psychosis prescribed medications. I found myself unable to even lift a finger most days… deprived of all motivations I could not breathe the air without feeling I was exhaling toxins. I was hurting more than I ever had; but in the midst of my suffering was a gift. This gift was a copy of Pokemon Firered purchased by my Dad.

There is one thing in life that I believe can get anyone in life out of a bad mindset. That thing is called the grind. The grind is necessary, but not necessarily evil. The reward effect from the grind is god-tier. Want to know what does SUCK about the grind. Waiting 2 weeks to get paid for your work. However, Gamers get paid instantly for their work through EXP.

EXP is an easier transaction than money. EXP is infinite. EXP is life.

Top 10 Vocaloids

10- Cyber Diva

Cyber Diva has become the stable English Vocaloid since her release back in 2015. Once you hear her pronunciation and ability to speak in both British and American English the reason why is pretty apparent. Cyber Diva has a really good voicebank! However, I personally feel that her voice can come off as too shrill sometimes. Some songs I recommend are Exorcism , Athena, and Kaleidoscope Haze.

9- V Flower and Lily

I know that this is a top 10 but I honestly couldn’t decide between these two. V flower’s V4 update introduced the growl functionality which makes her powerful voice even better. The androgynous design and voice is also really cool considering the amount of feminine female vocaloids there are. Flower deserves a spot on this list for being unique. Close to you by Kyaami is a good example of Flower’s voicebank being utilized. Meanwhile, Lily is a voicebank that unlike other feminine voicebanks has a deep female vocal. Looking at her you may get a Rin/Miku vibe from the design, but her voice packs a different punch. Unfortunately for Lily, she doesn’t get the recognition in the West that she deserves. Just listen to Wave.

8- Meiko

At first I thought this Vocaloid was pretty bad. I thought she didn’t hit notes right, and believed that she didn’t really have any good qualities. However, that was foolish of me. Meiko has a beautiful voice, it’s just hidden under her voicebank. Stay with me, Lover’s Suicide in Oblivion, and Evil Food Eater Conchita are amazing songs using her V1 voicebank. Meiko doesn’t end there though. She received a v3 update that boosts her quality further. The Snow White Princess seems like it was made to be sung by her. Just a few months ago her 15th anniversary song came out. Even if she isn’t as big as the other cryptonloids, this woman is excellent.

7- Kaito

Kaito is a beautiful man. So beautiful I named my Maplestory 2 character after him and emulated his appearance. What’s great about Kaito is that he’s the most masculine of the Crypton Vocaloids, but he can also hit gorgeous high notes. That’s why a lot of people call him Yaoi i guess. The only downside of Kaito is the under representation he receives due to the mikuapocalypse. Hopefully Crypton’s new program gives him the update he deserves! Ashes to Ashes, Idol Radio, and Cendrillon are some great songs featuring Kaito I can think of off the top of my head. Cantarella is certainly his biggest hit though… never understood the loli PV.

6- Luka Megurine

This queen right here has a very sexy voice. That’s her defining characteristic. Luka’s been featured in a lot of good songs such as Magnet, Blackjack, and my personal favorite Just be Friends. What makes Luka even more wonderful is the fact that she’s the only bilingual Cryptonloid! I don’t count the others receiving English Voicebanks as being truly bilingual. The only downsides to her voicebank are similar to that of Meiko’s. She can be kind of difficult to tune and sound muffled at times. (Especially in English). Lie, Last of Me, and Femme Fatale are excellent english songs. (Femme Fatale is both English and Japanese though.) All in all, Luka has an amazing voice and she deserves all the love.

5- IA (E-Uh)

Yes. IA is pronounced as E-uh. I found this out when I watched her preform live back in October at Anime Weekend Atlanta. IA was created as a stand in for her voice provider Lia who is known for singing the Angel Beats opening. This helps give some insight on the pronunciation of her name. I still refer to her as I-A though sometimes. Watching IA and her little sister ONE (oh-nay) preform was a truly enchanting experience. Spreading messages of Love, Life, and Peace the sisters will hopefully continue touring the US. Now that I’m done with that bit of background I must say that I love this girl. The punk aesthetic, the combination of pink and black, and her beautiful and sexy voice are some of the reasons why. Three amazing songs featuring IA are A Tale of Six Trillion Years and Overnight Story, A Realistic Logical Ideologist, and Outer Science. Recently IA got an English voicebank using the CEVIO program! It’s pretty damn good as well. Just take a listen to Higher. Reload is amazing as well.

4- Kagamine Rin

Rin needs to be protected at all costs. Her cute vocal contains more power than Hatsune Miku’s, but doesn’t have the same smooth feeling to compensate. Rin’s talented voice provider Asami Shimoda helped deliver this vocal perfectly. With Kagamine Append being released back in 2011 there are a WIDE variety of Kagamine Rin songs utilizing her powerful and sweet voice. Let’s take it from the top. There’s Meltdown, Rin Rin signal, and Kokoro. Using her voice in a more dark way there is Tokyo Teddy Bear and Lost One’s Weeping by Neru. I really recommend these songs. By far my favorite Rin song is Feather’s Across the Seasons. This song is so beautiful; just have tissues ready.

3- Megpoid Gumi

Oh Gumi… If only you had live performances on the same caliber as Miku. Even so, Gumi has an excellent voicebank dedicated to sounding as similar to her voice provider as possible. Megumi Nakajima is the goddess who brought us this goddess. Interestingly, Gumi also has the most voicebanks out of ANY Vocaloid, even more than that of Hatsune Miku.

This girl is a PACKAGE. Normally I prefer Gumi to be used in soft or sad songs due to the nature of her beautiful voice. Some beautiful sounding songs include Leave and Gears of Love. On the other hand, Happy Synthesizer, Martyoshka, Luvoratorrrrry, and Masked Bitch are more upbeat songs that make good usage of Gumi’s voice. My praise for Gumi doesn’t end quite there. Gumi’s voice provider Megumi Nakajima likes putting English words in her music, making Gumi have an English voicebank more superior than some native English vocaloids. Monster and Echo are my favorites songs using Megpoid V3 English.

2- Kagamine Len

Kagamine Len is the other Vocal included in the Kagamine package. However, this does not mean that he pales in comparison to Rin. Len and Rin both have the same voice provider, making their voices sound perfect with each other. Kagamine Len has a mostly artificial voice, but that does not mean that it is bad. His voice sounds amazing in the engine, probably due to it being created to fit the needs of the Vocaloid engine itself. Since the pitch of vocaloids can be changed Kagamine Len can be made to sound boyish, semi-manly, and kind of like Rin. Butterfly on your Right Shoulder is an example of an amazing Len song. However, this song was originally made for Rin. Len’s version ended up blowing hers away! More amazing Len songs include Spice, Gigantic OTN, and Servant of Evil.

1- Hatsune Miku

Whether you love or hate her, you have to recognize that without Miku there would not be Vocaloid. Hatsune Miku came out in 2007 to huge success and with that came the other popular Vocaloids. Before Miku Vocaloid was so niche that imagining a world where a virtual superstar is going to perform at Coachella was insanity. Oh yeah! Miku is going to Coachella, isn’t this evidence enough? Jokes aside, I really do love Hatsune Miku’s voice. The softness and cute qualities of her voice are more apparent than any other popular Vocaloid. Miku sounds like she’s singing on top of a 200 foot high hill in the meadows. It’s Tranquil and makes my ears feel good. With her regular voicebank out of the picture, Miku’s appends voicebanks are also amazing. Solid is perfect for anime openings and high tempo songs, whisper is cute, dark is PERFECT for edgy music, and mixing her multiple voicebanks together can produce different amazing results. Heath by Okame P utilizes Miku’s append voicebanks in a way that they produce clearer vocals and pronunciation while still sounding like Hatsune Miku. Mirishira Romeo and Cinderella is another example of Miku’s amazing append voicebank. As for Miku’s original voicebank the list of good songs is seemingly infinite. Two Faced Lovers, Martyoshka, World is Mine, Beware of the Miku Miku germs, Po Pi Po, Unhappy Refrain, Kagerou Daze, and SO MANY MORE! Miku is the queen of Vocaloid; she must be recognized for that.

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